One of Shelby's favorite songs was "legacy" by Nichole Nordeman. She definitely left a legacy. I can't believe it's been 3 years since I've seen her. I miss her hugs, I wish she could hug me tonight.

Thinking about her makes me miss her, and not so much wish her back as much as look forward to being with her. I don't think I ever thought much about or looked forward to heaven as much as I have these last several years. Having someone so close and special there makes heaven seem so much more real and alive.

This picture of Shelby (above) has become a favorite of mine. Although it makes me cry to look at it's so convicting to me. Shelby's expression in that picture reflected the upbeat and positive attitude she kept through the whole long trial that she went through. It's a great reminder to me when I'm complaining about small and insignificant trials I face on a day to day basis. Shelby was a very positive and energetic person to be around, I miss that so much!

This picture was one of the last times she was in Haiti. She already had quite a large tumor in her leg at that time, and was in pain most of the trip. Her love for Haiti was so strong however that this didn't stop her from going. Shelby had such a heart for missions.

The last big project Shelby and I worked really closely together on was my wedding. Shelby and Sara both put so much into that day for me. One memory that especially stands out to me was the morning I was to have my bridal pictures done. Sara was doing my hair and we both realized that we had all completely forgotten to get a tiara. The picture I had torn out of a magazine to buy was made of shells with a star fish in the middle. While I was stressing trying to decide what to do and Sara was trying to keep me still to finish my hair Shelby went threw her room gathering shells from her amazing collection and with a hot glue gun made an amazing tiara for me that I LOVED and still have. She was our creative "Martha Stewart" of the house with meals, organizing, decorating the house for holidays or planning parties and hosting large events. Shelby was one of the most creative people I'll ever know.

This picture means so much to me. This was the last team we did where Shelby was full strength. This was a couple months after Micah and I were married. Anyone who ever went on a team with us saw first hand what a crazy hard worker Shelby was. After spending looong days in the Mexico summer heat building houses Shelby would go back to the house and make the meals for everyone, then up first thing in the morning serving breakfast. On the job site Shelby was the paint leader for one of the teams. My Mom and us girls would call her the paint pig (when we were little we had a book called "Mr. Paint Pig") because she would wear her paint clothes completely out till she was wearing more paint than fabric. We've talked about framing some of the paint clothes she wore. Shelby was such a hard and energetic worker who loved to serve in so many ways.

I'm so happy Shelby got to meet Heidi before she left us. I always feel a special connection to her through Heidi. So many of the things Heidi does (as a first born) remind me of things Shelby (a firstborn as well) did. When Heidi was first born we all thought she looked like Shelby too. She doesn't look quite as much like her now as she did then. After Shelby went to heaven my Dad was reading in her journal about Heidi and she wrote that "people say she looks like me, YEAH!" I loved that she got to meet her even if it was for a short time. The night Heidi was born Shelby and the family were at a hospital in Houston. They all came as soon as they could to meet Heidi.  

Shelby and I were very different in many ways, but she completely spoiled and mothered me in every way, till I was married and came home one day completely shocked realizing I had to make my own food now and clean my own house. Shelby and I always shared a special bond. Growing up anytime I got hurt I wouldn't let any of my siblings come near me except Shelby. Shelby would always so lovingly take me to Mom to get patched up. One time during a long hike in Haiti I fell, completely skinning both of my knees and elbows and cut a big gash in my arm that I still have a good scare from. All of my many brothers tried to help me offering to carry me back etc. but I wouldn't let them touch me (yes I know I was a brat) Shelby came and put my arm over her shoulder and very slowly took me all the way back home which was at least an hour hike UP. Shelby was the best big sister I could have had. I miss her SO much!

As this weekend comes I'm trying not to think so much about what happened at 7:15 pm. May 31, 05 but rather how special Shelby was to me through out all of the years she was here. About how grateful I am that God gave her to me as a sister to know for 22 years. I also want to think about Shelby now and what she is doing. I think that she is dancing. I was supposed to paint her toe nails purple for her but only got one foot done that day so she has purple toe nails on one foot and blue on the other. I think she likes it that way, purple and blue were her favorite colors. Although Heidi insists her dress must be pink I like to picture her in a white dress, dancing with her hair down, and laughing. I miss her laugh, we loved to make each other laugh, especially at embarrassing times.

I miss you Shelby and can't wait to see you again.